broke,broke,broke..

So i dont know if keeping your blog open to all people is the best idea..bt yea..i do write when im really off the hook,down the drain, have completely lost it,broke is the word.so its easy to relate my posts with sadness and the feelings of emptiness..

But ya im just here trying to figure out why do the things which happen ..happen to you?thy say thy happen for the best..i did realise it onc when i was blessed by smthng much greatr thn the former and found myself in peace ..just to witness it slip off my hands once again when it was so closee..that i could feel it, i could feel the love in the air,the bluues,the butterflies,the magic,the "this is the right" feeling,it was meant to be cz ur a disobedient child?ud value all ppl else above yr parents/family, ud prioritise evry tiny whiny eveythng abv ppl who rightly dsrv to b on the top spot?

but yet again i cant help bt think tht the world is full of selfish people whod do sh**t with everyone nd ul find them to b the most successful,top notch,get what thy want people..is ita accomplic of selfish peopl,u cnt agree..who wd sy u hvnt been selfish in ur choices,not evn urself,u wud fail to sy tht ur the bettr of the lot, keep aside the most pious.
you do feel at tymes lik killimg urself when you see the most"geek"typ of friends,or those u thght dint have mch or any charisma,ending up with happy endings nd u go wttt?out of all the ppl in the wrld..he/she?
"all the best stories have tragic endings",u can satisfy urself tht way bt wt if i dont wnt the best stry?id b hppy with an ok story..with a happy ending?its like a continuous ongoing battle within urself..in deciding if u r the worst creature alive who deserves nothing gud to hppen with him or thinking tht bad thngs alwys happen with gd ppl...who knows whts right..eithr way ur the loser..nd havng to spend evryday tryng to figure owt whr did u go wrong or tht how gloomy u see ur future to be.,or is it being too farigh?

either ways the mystery remains unsolved,u mite call it fate so all tht ws meant to b,had u tried or not ,all those ppl came to ur life just to teach u some "lessons" did v evn nid those fu**ing lessons?(ya mayb to help owt some othr ppl in the same situation,lame) or mybe to show tht u dont av ny cntrl ovr ur life whtsoevr happens,so why do v evn have a brain in the first place,the power to think,calculate,observe,gvng urself false hopes whod shatter so easily u cdnt see the direction whre the wind came frm..hw cn u thn sit nd sy u knw..it wd hv smthng gd in it tht i cant see..oh comeonnn..am i being thankless,of all the things i av been blessed with..mayb it is how it seems..